Top 10 Alice Cooper Ballads

While his bread and butter to the masses has always been his stage theatrics and rebellious musical attitude, it may be surprising for some to learn that Alice Cooper is also the best ballad writer in the business. Not only does he have a wealth of material to choose from, unlike most of his contemporaries in the hard rock circuit, but no two tracks sound alike. Some of the subject material may be similar here and there, each song still has their own identity and stand in a league of their own.

Alice Cooper has never been one to shy away from showing his softer side, with the most popular examples being songs like “Only Women Bleed” and “Poison,” but there’s so much more to that side of his discography than just those two songs. In fact, because narrowing it down to a top 5 is too difficult, we’re going to take a look at the top 10 ballads from Cooper’s vast catalog in anticipation of his upcoming show in Wilmington, NC on October 5. 

10. “Life and Death of the Party” (Constrictor, 1986)

When Alice Cooper came back to music after sobering up from his “blackout” period of the early 80s, his first studio effort came in the form of 1986’s Constrictor, which marked his adoption of the glam rock sound that dominated the airwaves during the mid to late 80s. As the token power ballad of the album, “Life and Death of the Party” is also one of the strongest songs of the ten-track offering. It turns the humor and quirkiness of the rest of the album down a notch and talks about the kind of attraction that one shouldn’t feel, but does anyway, and the kind of paralytic feeling that it can bring.

9. “Die For You” (Hey Stoopid, 1991)

To be quite honest, half of this list could just be cuts from Cooper’s 1991 glam rock masterpiece Hey Stoopid, but that wouldn’t be fair. Admittedly, while there is one other track from the album appearing later in this list, “Die For You” is one of the more unique ballads on the album. It’s not your typical breakup or unrequited love song – the best way to describe it would be “post-heartbreak clarity.” The lyrics, coupled with Cooper’s vocal performance, carry a sense of frustration that one feels after a relationship comes to an end because of the time and energy that was wasted obsessing over that person that is no longer a significant other.

8. “I Never Cry” (Alice Cooper Goes to Hell, 1976)

Following up a critical and commercial success like Welcome to My Nightmare (1975) isn’t an easy task in the slightest, so it’s no wonder Cooper’s subsequent record, Alice Cooper Goes to Hell (1976), has mixed feelings amongst his fanbase, but a point of agreement comes to the greatness of its ballad “I Never Cry.” A hit upon its release, the song is “an alcoholic confession” about being heartbroken and feeling defeated, but not wanting to completely break down in front of others. 

7. “Every Woman Has a Name” (Dragontown, 2001)

Alice Cooper has always been an advocate for the empowerment of women – tackling the issue of domestic abuse when nobody else would discuss it publicly with the memorable “Only Women Bleed,” it’s a theme that has lyrically been revisited over Cooper’s career, with another prominent example being “Take It Like a Woman” from Brutal Planet (2000). On Dragontown (2001), the subject is explored again, but not as blatantly like with the two aforementioned tracks. “Every Woman Has a Name” discusses the resilience, importance, and strength that women possess in spite of the tragedy and negativity they’ve experienced during their lifetimes, from abuse to objectification to societal stereotyping.

6. “Something to Remember Me By” (Welcome 2 My Nightmare, 2011)

This song has a longer history than many may realize – while it appears on Welcome 2 My Nightmare (2011), “Something to Remember Me By” was actually written around the same time as “I Never Cry.” Co-written with songwriter Dick Wagner like “I Never Cry,” the song was shelved for decades because Cooper didn’t feel that his voice didn’t fit very well at the time it was originally written. While Donny Osmond may have performed it at that time, Cooper’s arrangement didn’t see the light of day until over three decades later. Cooper’s performance is as heartfelt as the lyrics, and longtime producer Bob Ezrin even considers it to be Cooper’s “prettiest song.”

5. “You and Me” (Lace and Whiskey, 1977)

1977’s Lace and Whiskey was a very unique release for Alice Cooper – taking on a film noir aesthetic, the album has some humorously zany tracks like “Ubangi Stomp” and “King of the Silver Screen,” but the real highlight was the ballad “You and Me.” Another Wagner collaboration, the song leaves Alice Cooper the rock star in the rear view and focuses on Alice Cooper the man, embracing the day-to-day little things between him and his wife that make their relationship flourish.

4. “Hell is Living Without You” (Trash, 1989)

On the same album as the commercial smash-hit “Poison,” “Hell is Living Without You” is about the devastation and depression that comes from the thought or reality of living without one’s significant other. Co-written with Desmond Child, Jon Bon Jovi, and Richie Sambora, the track is as glam rock as a late 80s power ballad can get, but the keyboards and hairspray work well for the song.

3. “How You Gonna See Me Now” (From the Inside, 1978)

From the Inside (1978) is such a musically eclectic album with songs that hit hard both musically and lyrically, and “How You Gonna See Me Now” was the biggest song of the batch – perhaps one of the most personal songs in his entire career, Cooper’s lyrics read like a letter to his wife from the asylum he was staying in for his alcoholism and expresses his apprehension to return home in the event that she doesn’t like the sober version of himself.

2. “Be With You Awhile” (The Eyes of Alice Cooper, 2003)

Given its status as my favorite Alice Cooper album, it feels only necessary that a track from The Eyes of Alice Cooper (2003) makes the cut, and if it can’t be “Novocaine,” then it’s easily “Be With You Awhile.” However, this isn’t a pick made purely out of nepotism – cut from the same cloth of “I Never Cry” and “You and Me,” there’s something beautifully hypnotic about the stripped back instrumentals paired with the unfeigned earnestness of the lyrics in this song. Even when it sounds like the song is reaching a crescendo, it doesn’t lead to an insanely grandiose conclusion or anything of that nature, and to be able to remain musically reserved feels just as technically impressive and emotionally authentic as the contrary.

1. “Might As Well Be On Mars” (Hey Stoopid, 1991)

One more from Hey Stoopid, and it’s a worthy one – “Might As Well Be On Mars” is without a doubt the greatest ballad in Cooper’s arsenal, and is easily a frontrunner in the conversation for the best song he’s ever written in general. Collaborating once again with Wagner and Child, the trio didn’t just write a fantastic song, they made a movie in musical form. It’s a lyrical masterpiece that perfectly describes the feeling of abject loneliness after a breakup or rejection. The first verse alone masterfully captures how life goes on and the world keeps moving, even when it’s introspectively stopped and crumbling. From a musical standpoint, it’s one of Cooper’s most involved songs, akin to the instrumental variety of the From the Inside album – the arrangements between the strings and keyboards are a match made in heaven, and the guitars are present without being sonically obtrusive. Clocking in as one of his longest songs, “Might As Well Be On Mars” makes every second worth it, and its greatness simply can’t be overstated.

Tonight is the last night of Alice Cooper’s run with Rob Zombie, Ministry, and Filter for the second annual Freaks on Parade Tour, but he has more solo “Too Close For Comfort” Tour dates booked for the month of October. For dates and to buy tickets, click here.

To keep up with Alice Cooper, click here.

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